Lady Gaga dancing in a hot dog custume.
FUCK GHOSTS MAN
Ouija boards are not a fucking game
I once did a ouija board with someone before at Mountainview cemetery in Vancouver trying to contact GHOSTS after we saw one (a ouija, not a ghost lol) at a Toys R Us. We had a case of newcastles and got right into the boozing and contacting. A bunch of korean war vet ghosts buried there immediately told us to fuck off and refused to continue with the ouija bullshit so the eyepiece just didnt move after that for several questions or so after, as if they were angrily ignoring us for disturbing them lol
After a little while, we got in contact with two other spirits that I found were specifically hovering around me. One was a female spirit with a bizarre wacky name who thought I was cute and the other was a little boy from the 19th century. We asked if the boy was buried in the cemetery. The boy said no. We asked where he was from. The little boy was from europe. Confused, we wondered if the boy was an immigrant from europe living in vancouver who died and was buried at the cemetery. No, the ouija stated. The boy never lived or visited Vancouver during his life. Where did this spirit come from and how did he find us? The spirit stated he had been following me specifically for years already. More confusion. This ghost was from Europe but has been in vancouver following me for a while already but never once been here?
I distinctly remember the chill that went up my spine when I suddenly remembered that in 2006 I went on a high school trip to Italy. I asked if hes from Italy. The ouija glides to “yes”
Is that where you saw me?
The wandering boy spirit saw me during my high school trip and decided to follow me ever since.
We packed up the ouija board and left.
you got a cute lil italian ghosty boy following you around and keepin you outta trouble because e saw you and liked you you have been blessed with a nice ghostie that is amazing
except why in the hell would you
- use a ouija board
- when there’s booze involved
- in a CEMETERY JESUS CHRIST TELL ME YOU AT LEAST CLEANSED THE DAMN PLACE FIRST
me everytime a character in a movie has to get a few drops of their blood for some ritual bullshit (via jtoday)
WHILE WE’RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT’S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY. get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. “but i look stupid!” lalalala but we’ll avoid that ~dramatic moment~ where you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL
and stop yanking IV lines out of your arms the minute you wake up in the hospital
That is a broadsword, why are you fencing with it
There is a freaking door right there. Stop smashing through windows, damn it.
yes, mr. action hero, I am aware that running dramatically from the baddies at breakneck speed is important, but know what else is important? NOT GETTING SHOT. RUN IN A FUCKING ZIGZAG PATTERN ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT THE MOOKS WERE NOT COACHED IN MARKSMANSHIP BY THE IMPERIAL STORMTROOPERS.
Oh, hey, you there, sneaky hero-type breaking into any place for any reason? WEAR SOME FUCKING GLOVES. They’re called fingerprints, dumbass. You have them and you’re putting them all over the fucking place.
wEAR A FUCKING HELMET OBERYN YOU LITTLE SHIT
And for god’s sake, PUT PRESSURE ON THAT WOUND, DON’T SIT THERE AND WATCH THEM BLEED OUT. I’m talking to you, TV cops.
You’re allowed to be sad, but please don’t think that nobody loves you.
how the fuck
its so weird that popular kids in my school have tumblrs
like excuse you
The biggest overreaction recorded in history.
i think your sister knows how to turn the FCK UP
Myfridgefood.com lets you enter whatever ingredients you have in your fridge and tells you what you can make with them. Source
i just realized that “never” is a contraction of “not ever”
and “blush” is a contraction of “blood rush”
also “studying” is a contraction of “student dying”
don’t believe any boy who says “i’m not like other guys” unless he has snow-white hair, glowin green eyes and can walk through walls, disappear and fly
So, technically, Jack Frost with green eyes
literally quoting the danny phantom theme song word for word
What he says: how do u know when lesbian sex is over???
What he means: I’ve never given a woman an orgasm ever in my life
Once you start dating someone its like, impossible to insult them
"suck my dick" ok
“bite me” hell yeah
"kiss my ass" sure
"Fuck you" well if you insist.
"my mother was right about you, you’re pathetic, you’ve got no job, and you’ve got no future" if you insist